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Sunday 18 April 2010

Catch Me If You Can?

Few people are aware that the tradition of throwing the bouquet at a wedding actually originated in a practise first observed in wartime Europe during the Holocaust. Jewish families who had been found by the Nazis and who were being forcibly taken to the death camps would throw flowers, petals, and other small objects such as pebbles or cous cous, in an attempt to warn others in the area. The practise was brought to the UK by survivors who moved here after the war, and wished to preserve the memory of the atrocities that they and their families had experienced for future generations. It is as yet unclear whether or not any other prevalent wedding traditions, such as the "pink angel and strap-on" themed hen-night, hymen repair surgery, or reception highlight, the Grease mega-mix, were also forged through circumstances relating to mass genocide.

Tuesday 6 April 2010

Red Tape?

Few people know this, but it's technically impossible for a colour-blind person to be elected Prime Minister of Great Britain. One of our many baffling ancient laws holds that anyone who cannot 'discern apple from bloodied calf' should not be trusted with the highest office. In the event that a person suffering from colour blindness is in fact leader of the winning party in a general election, it is estimated that the cost to the taxpayer, for the requisite legal processes involved in ratifying the result, may stretch upwards of exorbitant.