On The Ball

A hitherto undiscovered musical instrument was discovered last week by archaeologists working on a remote Greek island. The instrument was said to have been played using the genitals of the most overweight male in the local area. Rhythmic and often truly melodic sounds would be made by rubbing the glans against holes in the object while shaking it back and forth at the same time. Sure, it all sounds fascinating, but last night researchers, having been put under repeated pressure by the press, were forced to admit that it might actually just be a discarded car part.