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Saturday, 21 August 2010

Waste Not

Up until the 1950s it was not uncommon for carpets to be woven from recycled skin and hair. During the war years it was of course necessary to economise wherever possible, and home furnishings were no exception. Many families used bodily fluids to add a little colour to their wall paint, and in particularly deprived areas, men's beard shavings would often be used by the ladies in the house for makeup, and toenail clippings found new lives as an alternative to dessicated coconut for children's birthday cakes.

Tuesday, 10 August 2010

Bent Out Of Shape

We all know that the combined shapes of Turkey, Malaysia and Jamaica look like a freshly baked shepherds pie, but did you know that if you trace the outlines of Japan, Iceland, Nottingham and the Blackpool Pleasure Beach and place them all in a line, perpendicular and adjacent to one another that they form an uncanny resemblance to Orson Welles' left ventricle? Thought not.

Monday, 2 August 2010

Old Hat

A shocking discovery has been made by a recent study into Britain's museums. The research, commissioned by the Institute For Finding Important Finds, found that an alarming 98% of exhibits are actually extremely boring and pointless. The find comes as good news to the hoards of children and new boy/girlfriends who feel compelled to feign interest at the thousands of museum pieces every year on days out that could better be spent drinking, eating fast food and committing violent acts against passers by.