Lucky Stars

An upcoming book is set to reveal some startling facts about the Hollywood stars of yesteryear. Rich Tallbag spent the last four years researching the work, which has already been met with legal threats from the estates of some of those featured. Mr Tallbag is confident in his research though, and publishers are hoping to push the tome through by the Ides of March 2011 in time for the 14th Edinburgh International Festival of Tawdry Nostalgia in Book Form. Leaked excerpts from the book include such nuggets of gossip as James Cagney's naked underwater defecation habit, Jackie Gleason's six tonne dancing racist toilet brush and Rita Hayworth's artificial torso.

The jig is up

A new dance craze is sweeping the region of Anathema in central Asia. The style is a startlingly unconventional fusion of tap, ballet and the birdie dance, culminating in the beheading of a nearby statue where possible. Teens in the area are hooked on the craze, to the virtually exhaustive misapproval of their parents, most of whom believe the dance can only lead to moral incertitude at best. Rebellious youngsters are busily organising festivals at which the dance is performed competitively, winners being afforded the chance to writhe enthusiastically around on a bedsheet that was once believed to have accommodated a weary Hedy Lamarr.